In a plot twist worthy of its own cinematic universe—with extra buttered popcorn—workers at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, TX, are sashaying into the annals of organized labor. The Slaughter Lane location scene-stealers voted to unionize with the United Auto Workers, choosing the dramatic title of “SlaughterHouse United.” The vote was something out of a nail-biting thriller, with a 52-16 win for the pro-union protagonists. And yes, 94% of the eligible cast came to play.
The Stage is Set
A union spokesperson, perhaps wearing a monocle (because why not?), declared this the culmination of four months of intense campaigning and whispered conspiracies. Now they’re eagerly awaiting the formal nod from the National Labor Relations Board—imagine a regal wave from a velvet-draped throne. Meanwhile, the Alamo Drafthouse respects its employees’ decision, channeling an attitude somewhere between begrudging respect and mild bewilderment.
Plot Twists and Drama
Earlier this year, the theater chain found itself in a whirlwind of layoffs, axing up to 30 workers per location, a move that would make any soap opera villain proud. This sparked a wave of rebellions more captivating than a telenovela marathon, with theaters in New York and Denver leading the charge. The Big Apple’s Alamo branches even stopped the show for 58 days, demanding the reinstatement of their roles. Rumor has it, all jobs returned in a triumphant finale.
- New York & Denver: Unionized and ready to strike faster than a spaghetti western draw
- Job Reinstatements: 58 days of drama leading to a complete cast reunion
Coming Attractions
As we eagerly await this saga’s next act, perhaps with a side of existential curiosity, we ponder: Will SlaughterHouse United dominate the bargaining table like a blockbuster thriller? Or will it be more of an avant-garde short film that leaves audiences both intrigued and slightly confused?
Until then, keep your monocles handy and watch out for spontaneous dance numbers. And remember, somewhere out there, a duck is dreaming of jazz shoes.
